When it comes to this internet dating, I would say that my getting a reply from my initial message average is about 1 in 3. Of the messages I receive, I would say the inverse ratio of my replying is true or 2 in 3. Of those that I am able to start an internet conversation, I'd say I meet about 2 in 5... all these ratios are totally made up; I have no data to back them up; but this is my best guess... in any case, here are some of the ladies(?) I never met:
-There was that 40 year old white lady who wrote me "If only I was 10 years younger..."
-The other white lady in her mid-thirties with a semi-racist ILOVEASIANBOYS (or something very similar to that) screen name who just wrote "You're ADORABLE."
-There's the girl that asked me if I wanted to talk over the phone. I sent her my number... nothing... I send her an email a couple days later, and she says she's seeing someone...
-There's the girl from Georgia who doesn't have a southern accent. Date setup up, the day of, she says she can't make it; reschedule for the next day; says she's held up at work again; says she'll let me know if her weekend is free...
-There's the girl that asked ME if I wanted to meet up for coffee... wasn't interested, so I ignored... next day she emails me again "well, I guess not... good luck" (at least she had a sense of humor about it)
-There's the girl that sent a chat request; talked about how she also had a maltese, a boy; that we should have a pet date... that her dog would probably end up raping my Swan... I actually thought that was funny and we actually chatted some more; but she was really boring after that...
-There's the girl that we set up a tennis date... the day before and the day of, no confirmation, so the next day I message her on Facebook "gg" and de-friend her and she replies "gg?" (for you non-gamers, GG = good game; usually something the loser says before losing and leaving the game)
-and finally, there was that girl who worked at a crisis hotline... I wanted to make conversation so I asked her if she'd ever told anyone they should just cash out and take their chances on the other side... and she replied "WTF, that's messed up!".... looking back... she made the right choice.... but in my defense, I'm just a dumbass... and also, she said she was Buddhist... so wouldn't suicide just be like a reset button?... and also, I've worked in customer service, and there were times when people would call and I would think "geez... just kill yourself and stop bothering me~!"
... I think I've said enough ignorant and offensive things for now
Monday, January 23, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
The Neighbor concluded
For the second date, we met up at Honda-Ya for some sushi rolls, some yaki-tori, etc. Normally I would order a beer or maybe some warm sake, but she had told me on the first date that she wasn't really much of a drinker... and I didn't really want to show my alcoholic side... at least not yet... so I skipped the refreshing drinks and stuck with the plain H2O. And even without the alcoholic courage, I still had a pretty good time. Afterwards, we decided to get some dessert at 86 Degrees. I suggested we carpool, and since my house was on the way, I asked if I could pick up Swan and just enjoy our treats outside on the benches. So we swung by my place to pick Swan up, and of course she did her thing... with the cute yapping, the hopping on her hind legs and of course the licking of the face~!
We arrived at the place, and per usual, there was a line... why so many people love their pastries is just ridiculous... but anyways, stood in line, and she offered to buy the dessert, so I found a table and waited and few minutes later she came back with some various baked goods. We talked some more and at the end, I drove her back to her car... not a bad date.
So things went on like this for a few weeks. I started picking her up for our dates. It was really convenient since she lived so close. We did the usual things... dinner, movies, bowling, Dave and Buster's, etc. And since she didn't really drink too much and I didn't want to be an alcoholic and drink by myself, the dates were quite affordable~! On one of the dates, she mentioned how her mom wanted her to start going to church and told of the last time she went to church she went to a Korean church... she felt uncomfortable because during the small group time, the people were doing prayer requests and they were saying really personal stuff, and she felt uncomfortable when it was her turn, so she said a very generic request... and she gave them her info, and they would call her, asking her when she would come to church, etc. I asked her if she wanted to go this church I knew of, more catered towards 2nd generation Asian-Americans, very casual called Newsong... so yes, for a couple of weeks, I actually started going to church... I know I know, I'm a sell-out...
So one day, I ask her if she wants to do anything Friday and she said lets go to this vegan coffee shop. She said she'll meet me there. So we meet there, I order a soy "latte" and a ginger "scone". We do the usual small talk, I ask her if she wants to do anything afterwards when she starts the "I-don't-think-we're-a-good-match" talk... she said that going out with me felt like a job... not enough to talk about... not enough similarities... awkward silences... she thought of me like an older brother... so yeah, things ended well~!
Looking back, it was ironically a perfect scene for getting dumped by my "girlfriend"... she was my "girlfriend" like how the vegan cafe tried to call my drink a "latte" and that brick a "scone"... you need real milk in a latte and butter and eggs to make a scone... most retarded cafe ever... but yeah, its nothing personal... more than feeling heartbroken, I just felt really pathetic... I remember a few days later, hanging out with a friend... we were driving in the car and the conversation died out and we were just listening to the radio... and I started panicking thinking that maybe this was the awkward silences she was talking about... that maybe I'm just really dull... but whatevers, back to the drawing board~!
We arrived at the place, and per usual, there was a line... why so many people love their pastries is just ridiculous... but anyways, stood in line, and she offered to buy the dessert, so I found a table and waited and few minutes later she came back with some various baked goods. We talked some more and at the end, I drove her back to her car... not a bad date.
So things went on like this for a few weeks. I started picking her up for our dates. It was really convenient since she lived so close. We did the usual things... dinner, movies, bowling, Dave and Buster's, etc. And since she didn't really drink too much and I didn't want to be an alcoholic and drink by myself, the dates were quite affordable~! On one of the dates, she mentioned how her mom wanted her to start going to church and told of the last time she went to church she went to a Korean church... she felt uncomfortable because during the small group time, the people were doing prayer requests and they were saying really personal stuff, and she felt uncomfortable when it was her turn, so she said a very generic request... and she gave them her info, and they would call her, asking her when she would come to church, etc. I asked her if she wanted to go this church I knew of, more catered towards 2nd generation Asian-Americans, very casual called Newsong... so yes, for a couple of weeks, I actually started going to church... I know I know, I'm a sell-out...
So one day, I ask her if she wants to do anything Friday and she said lets go to this vegan coffee shop. She said she'll meet me there. So we meet there, I order a soy "latte" and a ginger "scone". We do the usual small talk, I ask her if she wants to do anything afterwards when she starts the "I-don't-think-we're-a-good-match" talk... she said that going out with me felt like a job... not enough to talk about... not enough similarities... awkward silences... she thought of me like an older brother... so yeah, things ended well~!
Looking back, it was ironically a perfect scene for getting dumped by my "girlfriend"... she was my "girlfriend" like how the vegan cafe tried to call my drink a "latte" and that brick a "scone"... you need real milk in a latte and butter and eggs to make a scone... most retarded cafe ever... but yeah, its nothing personal... more than feeling heartbroken, I just felt really pathetic... I remember a few days later, hanging out with a friend... we were driving in the car and the conversation died out and we were just listening to the radio... and I started panicking thinking that maybe this was the awkward silences she was talking about... that maybe I'm just really dull... but whatevers, back to the drawing board~!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
The Neighbor
Every morning, I wake up and walk Swan one lap around the park across the street shown above. There's always a senior Chinese couple that also walk, always holding hands, and doing calisthenics afterwards. The next tale is of a young lady that I met who lived on the other side of the park... just goes to show how really alienated I am from my neighbors.
Anyways, after a while, I eventually did ask her out; destination Yogurt Land~! For those of you keeping track, the dates have gotten gradually less expensive. From sushi dinner, to burger lunch / yogurt, to just yogurt (note: The double date girl actually came after this, and that date was actually free, so yes, the trend of going more cheap did continue; am hoping to eventually get the girl to pay for the date and then pay me extra for my companionship... someday... :) I arrived a little early and waited outside. After the confirmation, we went inside, created our yogurts, and like a G, I paid and we decided to enjoy our treats outside.
I told her how I thought she was Japanese, since a lot of her interests (movies, books, music, etc) were Japanese; but turns out she was Korean; 1.5, meaning she came from Korea when she was in middle school; so an ever so slight accent. She also used air quotes a lot when she talked, but with just 1 hand... so maybe they were insect antennae; like some Korean thing I'm not aware of... but I'm not that picky... that's the kind of quirk I can over-look. So on my very small check list of cute enough and interesting enough, she passed both. At the end, I told her I had a really fun time and said goodbye... but I forgot to get her number!
A couple of days later, I sent her an email and asked if she wanted to hang out again some time. I waited a couple of days with no response. I knew that this was a no go... but lo and behold, on the third day.... (I was going to say something sacrilegious but decided not to) a message saying sure. After a few email tag sessions, I finally got her number and finally arranged the elusive 2nd date~!
to be continued...
Saturday, December 31, 2011
The Ninja Face
So whenever the only picture of a girl available is kinda covered like above, you should know its probably a bad sign. I was early in the online date game... ok, I already knew I was asking for trouble... but I thought, whatevers.
When you use OKCupid, there's a little menu that shows who's visited your page. It's always fun to click on their profile, you know, just out of curiosity, and also to return the courtesy of them having visited your profile. Anyways, I started things off by asking if she was a ninja. As we started corresponding, her "uniqueness" started to pique my interest. For example, she said she'd never drank to the point of getting drunk... not even getting a little buzzed, but she would smoke every once in a while, but not an everyday smoker; only when she was really stressed. She said she was a hippie at heart minus the drugs (which doesn't make any sense to me); she had broken her leg once and somehow through her rehab or something she came to love jogging. She asked me what I was, I told her Korean, and I asked her the same, and she said Vietnamese, and she asked me if that was a problem, to which I responded, of course not, should it be?
Anyways, asked her out and we agreed to meet up at Ruby's in Anaheim for lunch. I actually arrived at the place before her and waited outside. About 5 minutes later, a young lady walks up and I ask "Hi, are you Kai?" (which I pronounced like "cape" minus the "pe" sound). She answered "my name is actually Kai." (pronounced like "kite" minus the "te" sound.... and no, her real name isn't Kai; this is just recreating the scene; I'm clever like that). So after establishing this was the correct lady, we walk inside and sit down to have our lunch.
Looks wise, I'd give her a solid 5 from the 10 point scale; meaning she wasn't ugly by any stretch of the imagination, at the same time, nothing really stood out; like usually if there's that one thing, I can just latch onto that... and usually its not a tangible thing, or I can't really pin-point it, but there's got to be that something. But going on a tangent, I'd say pretty much everyone uses the 10 point scale right? Usually the disagreement is on how points are established but the scale itself is always 10. Well in highschool, one of my closest friends would use a 20 point scale. He'd just double the score. I'd yell at him and berate him, telling him what an idiot he was, how no one uses his stupid 20 point non-sense... because you need people to conform; there's already enough debate without doubling the scale... i've tried to look for him on facebook, but he's nowhere to be found... but anyways, back to the story.
The lunch itself I think went pretty well.... I had gotten rid of some of the dating jitters with my first date anyways, so not as much pressure... I don't remember too much of the conversation; but I had done enough to get dessert. Since this was her neighborhood, she offered to drive, which I accepted. She drove a nice car... one of those high-end European cars... Saab, Audi, BMW... I don't remember which one... but thats how much I don't really give a crap about cars... I just remember there was leather seating. Since she was a student, it meant that she came from at least an upper-middle class family right? Anyways, had our frozen yogurt and she drove me back to my car afterwards and that was that.
The next day, she texts me... pretty much small talk. We texted a few times, but I wasn't really interested. I never asked her out again. I'm no good with rejecting; its not like I've really done it that much... maybe I need more practice~! If there's one girl I feel bad about, its her
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
The Facebook Friend #1
Some of the girls I have online dated stayed just that, online... never crossing over to the real world. So why even mention them? Am I that desperate to pad my stats that I'm starting to count these online only "relationships"? (yes, I'm using that term very loosely) Well, yes... but really, no... just more fun stories to tell. Also, you get to see me in action... maybe you guys can help step up my game.
So the Tuesday I went out with The Fake Korean Girl, (you like that? linking to my own blog... my online dating universe is collapsing within itself) I received some message from this girl... I don't remember exactly what it said, but again was commenting on how adorable Swan is. Maybe this message made it easier to move on from the somewhat disappointing first date I had just experienced, but whatevers. After a few back and forth messages, she gave me her facebook and told me to add, which I did, and below are the correspondence along with my own little comments in red italics:
So the Tuesday I went out with The Fake Korean Girl, (you like that? linking to my own blog... my online dating universe is collapsing within itself) I received some message from this girl... I don't remember exactly what it said, but again was commenting on how adorable Swan is. Maybe this message made it easier to move on from the somewhat disappointing first date I had just experienced, but whatevers. After a few back and forth messages, she gave me her facebook and told me to add, which I did, and below are the correspondence along with my own little comments in red italics:
Friday, December 23, 2011
The Double Date
While browsing, I came upon this one profile. I looked through her pictures, and noticed that she also had a maltese, which I knew was my in. The obvious way to get her attention was to immediately talk smack about her dog. So I sent the message: "cute dog, but mine's way cuter~~!" She was Korean, lived in Irvine, brand new teacher, I think it was ESL, but that's not really that important. Anyways, after a few back and forth messages, I asked "Would you like to meet in person? I was thinking early evening during the week, or maybe during the day on the weekend, we could meet at a park and walk our dogs... kill 2 birds with 1 stone."
There's a man-made lake in Irvine (pictures courtesy of Google Maps) that we decided upon to meet during a saturday afternoon. A friend of mine had first professed his love to his future wife at this place by proclaiming that he had missed her "thiiiiiiiss much" (measured by the length of his outstretched arms) and I thought maybe lightening could strike twice.
To add a bit of mystery and intrigue, I had told her we should meet over the bridge that connects the lake to a little plaza that has a $2 movie theater. She commented about how "Korean Drama" that idea was, maybe thinking I was trying to be romantic... but it was more out of courtesy for her and looking out for her, so that she wouldn't have to give her number to a potential psycho that she just met over the internet.
So my plan worked really well, except for the part where she arrived first... the gentlemanly thing to have done was to arrive first so that she wouldn't have to wait.... but whatevers. Fairly easy to spot... she was the girl on the bridge holding the leash with a maltese on the end. We exchanged the polite "are you....", hellos, and quick hugs, and our dogs proceeded to sniff each other. She looked exactly like her pictures.... pretty cute.
So we proceeded with our date by walking around the lake. She was a pretty good talker.... she initiated a lot of the conversation by asking a lot of questions about me. I answered the questions as best I could and usually ended with the very original question "and you?". The combination of a warm summer afternoon plus physical activity (yes, I consider walking my dog a physical activity) plus being nervous being in the company of an attractive female plus my natural disposition of sweating at an above average rate led to a lot of wiping of the brow and the slow darkening and dampening around the collar of my shirt.
We ended up taking 2 laps around the lake. At the end, I asked if I could get her number. I pressed the numbers she said and hit send. Her phone rang and I told her "and now you have mine". Overall, I felt it had gone fairly well. A couple days later, I texted her "Hi, would you like to get dinner sometime?" and received the rejection of silence.
There's a man-made lake in Irvine (pictures courtesy of Google Maps) that we decided upon to meet during a saturday afternoon. A friend of mine had first professed his love to his future wife at this place by proclaiming that he had missed her "thiiiiiiiss much" (measured by the length of his outstretched arms) and I thought maybe lightening could strike twice.
To add a bit of mystery and intrigue, I had told her we should meet over the bridge that connects the lake to a little plaza that has a $2 movie theater. She commented about how "Korean Drama" that idea was, maybe thinking I was trying to be romantic... but it was more out of courtesy for her and looking out for her, so that she wouldn't have to give her number to a potential psycho that she just met over the internet.
So my plan worked really well, except for the part where she arrived first... the gentlemanly thing to have done was to arrive first so that she wouldn't have to wait.... but whatevers. Fairly easy to spot... she was the girl on the bridge holding the leash with a maltese on the end. We exchanged the polite "are you....", hellos, and quick hugs, and our dogs proceeded to sniff each other. She looked exactly like her pictures.... pretty cute.
So we proceeded with our date by walking around the lake. She was a pretty good talker.... she initiated a lot of the conversation by asking a lot of questions about me. I answered the questions as best I could and usually ended with the very original question "and you?". The combination of a warm summer afternoon plus physical activity (yes, I consider walking my dog a physical activity) plus being nervous being in the company of an attractive female plus my natural disposition of sweating at an above average rate led to a lot of wiping of the brow and the slow darkening and dampening around the collar of my shirt.
We ended up taking 2 laps around the lake. At the end, I asked if I could get her number. I pressed the numbers she said and hit send. Her phone rang and I told her "and now you have mine". Overall, I felt it had gone fairly well. A couple days later, I texted her "Hi, would you like to get dinner sometime?" and received the rejection of silence.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
The Fake Korean Girl
The very first interaction I had was someone actually messaging me. It was short, simple, and to the point: Cute dog :) (I'm paraphrasing, which I will be doing a lot of.... i erased this first profile and a lot of the older messages; perhaps I'll expand on that some other time) I took a look at her profile pic... looked pretty cute... her profile had references to KPOP and Korean Dramas, so her screen name having "2PM" referenced her love for a band, and not her preferred time to take a nap (which coincidentally is my favorite time to snooze... one less thing we had in common I guess) I decided to message her back and the interaction began.
After a few back and forth email type messages, I saw that she was online and instant messaged her through the site. I guess it was glitchy on her end, so she asked me if I had AIM so we could continue the conversation. Yes, AIM, as in AOL instant message... as in America On-Line... who the hell still uses that? I honestly had not logged on to that since college... but I gave her my "Eudork1984" screen-name and signed on using Meebo. Everything was going going pretty well... I was being charming and funny; all the "Haha"s and "LOL"s are proof of that~! Turned out that she wasn't Korean, but was actually Vietnamese... not that there's anything wrong with that... I had just assumed that she was Korean. But anyways... after a few days of chatting, I mustered up enough courage and asked her if she's like to meet in person... hook her up with some boba, and to my surprise, she said yes.
The day of the meeting, I get a text from her asking if we could push back the date... I don't remember the excuse... but I didn't see any reason why not... so it got pushed back tentatively to Friday (the original day being Thursday); I think she said she'd let me know after work on Friday or something... but it got pushed back again to Monday... and then finally Tuesday.... all this pushing back got me a bit nervous... all the worse case scenarios played in my head... was she having second thoughts? did I say something wrong? was she actually a 50 year old man?
Tuesday did finally come; the venue had been upgraded from boba to sushi (Kabuki in Huntington for those of you keeping track at home). In typical Korean fashion, I did arrive about 10 minutes late. There was that awkward clearing of the throat and "Hi, are you ****? I'm Eugene"... the sticking out of the hand for a friendly handshake... and the obligatory opening of the door to lead her into the restaurant. Right off the bat, she was slightly... damn, no way to really sugar coat it.... slightly chubbier than her picture had let on... like I wouldn't say fat... I thought she still looked kinda cute.
The date itself... some people are born with natural abilities... they are able to do things very adequately the very first time they try... I am definitely not one of those people. I wish it would have been more of a disaster, because at least then there would be a story to tell. The nervous part of me dominated and truly shined that night. There were many awkward silences between disjointed conversations... to the point that I noticed she sometimes would stare into space while twirling her hair around her index finger. After dinner, we chilled outside on a bench to talk some more, but it didn't go any smoother... she mercifully ended the evening with a "sorry, my classmate just texted me and we need to study..." Not the best, but not a total disaster... for sure a solid baseline to judge any future dates... got some of the nerves out... and yes... I never contacted her again~!
After a few back and forth email type messages, I saw that she was online and instant messaged her through the site. I guess it was glitchy on her end, so she asked me if I had AIM so we could continue the conversation. Yes, AIM, as in AOL instant message... as in America On-Line... who the hell still uses that? I honestly had not logged on to that since college... but I gave her my "Eudork1984" screen-name and signed on using Meebo. Everything was going going pretty well... I was being charming and funny; all the "Haha"s and "LOL"s are proof of that~! Turned out that she wasn't Korean, but was actually Vietnamese... not that there's anything wrong with that... I had just assumed that she was Korean. But anyways... after a few days of chatting, I mustered up enough courage and asked her if she's like to meet in person... hook her up with some boba, and to my surprise, she said yes.
The day of the meeting, I get a text from her asking if we could push back the date... I don't remember the excuse... but I didn't see any reason why not... so it got pushed back tentatively to Friday (the original day being Thursday); I think she said she'd let me know after work on Friday or something... but it got pushed back again to Monday... and then finally Tuesday.... all this pushing back got me a bit nervous... all the worse case scenarios played in my head... was she having second thoughts? did I say something wrong? was she actually a 50 year old man?
Tuesday did finally come; the venue had been upgraded from boba to sushi (Kabuki in Huntington for those of you keeping track at home). In typical Korean fashion, I did arrive about 10 minutes late. There was that awkward clearing of the throat and "Hi, are you ****? I'm Eugene"... the sticking out of the hand for a friendly handshake... and the obligatory opening of the door to lead her into the restaurant. Right off the bat, she was slightly... damn, no way to really sugar coat it.... slightly chubbier than her picture had let on... like I wouldn't say fat... I thought she still looked kinda cute.
The date itself... some people are born with natural abilities... they are able to do things very adequately the very first time they try... I am definitely not one of those people. I wish it would have been more of a disaster, because at least then there would be a story to tell. The nervous part of me dominated and truly shined that night. There were many awkward silences between disjointed conversations... to the point that I noticed she sometimes would stare into space while twirling her hair around her index finger. After dinner, we chilled outside on a bench to talk some more, but it didn't go any smoother... she mercifully ended the evening with a "sorry, my classmate just texted me and we need to study..." Not the best, but not a total disaster... for sure a solid baseline to judge any future dates... got some of the nerves out... and yes... I never contacted her again~!
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